Golf Truths
If a good course is one where you play to your handicap or better and a bad course is one where you struggle to break 100, why are there so many bad courses ?
Shots that finish close to the pin are never as close when you get there.
Spike marks always deflect your ball away from the hole.
Teeing up on the side nearest the out-of-bounds means your ball will finish in the cabbage on the other side.
The ball nestling in a footprint in a bunker is invariably yours.
The captain of the Club you wish to join turns out to be someone you were at school with: and you never got on.
The Club secretary is always on the course when you want him, but is in the bar when you sub is overdue.
The distant puff of sand you see means that your ball has not carried the bunker and what's more, it is plugged under the lip.
The fact that trees are ninety per cent air does not mean your ball avoid the remaining ten per cent of timber.
The first tee shot following a lesson travels 20 meters along the ground.
The first time you enter the club's knockout competition you are drawn against the club champion in the first round.
The hickory-shafted driver that you found in your grandmother's attic turns out to be worth only $10.